Dictionary of mangled words & phrases
Not ONE WORD for the year, but a list of bespoke mistakes
A year or so ago, I started a list in the Notes app on my phone for what my husband and I jokingly refer to as “The Dictionary of Mangled Words”. These are words we (OK, mostly me!) have used in conversations with each other, and laughed about for their silliness, their almost-but-not-quite-right expression of whatever we wanted to say.
I’m not talking about a slip of the tongue or malapropism (which Oxford Languages defines as the “use of a word in place of a similar-sounding one, often with an amusing effect”) such as former Australian PM Tony Abbott’s memorable “No one … is the suppository of all wisdom”.
I’m talking about when your brain simply cannot find the right word - not because of aphasia or brain damage) but due to brain fog.
I’ve been experiencing brain fog on and off for several years (hello Menopause, I’m looking at you) - in fact, until recently, I didn’t even realise that’s why I sometimes forgot what I wanted to say or why I came into a room. Quite simply, it didn’t occur to me that changing hormones were the cause of these cognitive concerns (and they did concern me) because my doctor kept saying my hormone levels weren’t showing menopausal activity! And while it has many times been frustrating and even worrying to experience this fog, it has also led to moments of laughter.
Hence the list of brain fog-“mangled” words, which I’ll share in part now (and use in sentences similar to those the day they were uttered). Have a laugh on me - I know I laughed after each one! And hopefully, you’ll be inspired or encouraged to share your own.
The funny/strange list
Discomfortable: uncomfortable e.g. “This chair is rather … discomfortable.”
Wine farm: vineyard e.g. “Look at the … the wine farm growing on that steep terrace!”
Sun hole: skylight e.g. “We really could do with a … a … sun hole in this room.”
Spersonal: personal space e.g. “I didn’t like the way he was standing in my … spersonal.”
Nutcake: nutcase - not used in an offensive way, but an endearing one e.g. “You’re such a nutcake, hon.”
Plane dropper: sky diver e.g. “Look at all the … plane droppers landing on the beach!”
Wine machine: corkscrew e.g. “You’ll need a … a wine machine to get that cork out.”
The embarrassing talk-like-a-three-year-old list
Biggened: “That list of words has biggened in the last year.”
Drived: “That guy drived like a *$%#!@ idiot!”
Hopening: “I was really hopening to feel better today.”
Expectable: “It’s hardly fair to expectable me to think clearly when I’m exhausted.”
Deaded: “Why does my head feel so … so deaded?”
Worster: “It’s hard to think of a sentence worster than this.”
Does brain fog ever affect the words you utter? Any memorable words or phrases you’d like to share?
PS. I’m back now from my month-long trip to Germany and recovering from jet lag. Friday bouquets are returning soon!
