Our circumstances and reasons for leaving our jobs are different, of course. But it took me about a year to feel comfortable with the new situation, accept the new routine, and I guess most of all, realise that just because I didn't have a full-time paying job didn't mean I would be able to do everything I wanted to do in a day, every day ...
It takes time, you are doing the right thing listening to your body.
Thank you, Helen. I don't know why I thought it would be instant - logically I knew it wouldn't, but I think emotion overrides that at first. I'm going to do two days a week for six weeks (a new development) to ease me in a bit more gradually.
I also thought it’d be easier than it was. I felt quite untethered for several months and I’m still trying to negotiate the freedom to do things on the spur of the moment.
It's been almost a decade since I 'retired' from full time 'work'. In between babies, I've held part-time or casual jobs and had stretches of not working at all. I currently work approximately 12 hours a week in a job I really love, but still daydream almost daily about throwing it all in, simplifying ever more, living an even more frugal, home based life. My husband and I sit down and crunch the numbers, trying to make it possible. I read about your leap and I'm inspired even more.
In the home-ed world we have a term called deschooling, which in essence is a transition phase any child or adult goes through when removing themselves from traditional schooling. Generally speaking, for every year a child or adult has spent in formal education, a month of deschooling is required. During deschooling it is advised not to do anything but to process, heal and observe. Kids adapt much quicker than adults for this reason!
It's only natural to want to be productive, do all the things you've been dreaming to do, but in reality forgoing a work orientated mindset takes so much more
time than we would ideally like it to. It's uncomfortable. But necessary. You are shedding decades of ingrained messaging. This is only the beginning and you have so much to look forward to ahead. It's ok to sit with your emotions now, and rest.
Have you read Down To Earth by Rhonda Hetzel? Or her shorted read The Simple Life? I think you will enjoy it.
It took me a few months to ease off the pace of not working and to understand what's next. I spent many days in the garden with my fingers deep in the earth learning that I needed to let go of the 'doing' and begin 'being'.
Thoughts are just thoughts. Our mind is just our mind. None of it is real. I spend quite a bit of time navigating that — and it always takes the time it takes. Happy slowing. Happy noticing.
I so feel you! I stopped my 9-5 job two weeks ago and I want to tackle so many things now that I have time but my body seems to want to destress and detox first. So everything hurts and I walk like an old lady. Work is seeping out of me slowly and I need to wait until that process is done it seems. Slowly slowly.
Why is it that we carry so much guilt when we try to give ourselves the rest we deserve?
I’m exactly the same. At the moment I’m working six days a week (two markets each weekend and baking for businesses through the week) so Mondays are my day off.
But I’m also taking care of my elderly parents, so this Monday I drove 100km there & back to spend time with them. Next Monday I have appointments & places I need to get to so I can be ready for that week.
This is just a phase, I’m back to one market a weekend soon, and in June I even have a few weekends off (😱) But I already know that when those delicious weekends come around, I’m going to feel guilty about resting.
Why??
What’s inside us that drives us so hard? And why is it so difficult to not listen to that?
I applaud you, Monique 🥰 What you’re doing isn’t easy. It’s going to require a whole new mindset which I should imagine will take however long it takes to unfold in your life.
Be patient 🙏🏻
Be still 🌻
Let your body find new rhythms 💕
And don’t listen to that nagging voice telling you to do something.
Oh Maggie, you have so much on your plate right now. You're in a season of busy, and that takes its toll. Try to enjoy the delicious rest time that your body and soul needs.
Are we born driven? Or is it conditioned into us? I'm a firstborn so I definitely see that my path as being responsible and productive was set early.
I've taken a temporary sideways step - doing two days a week casual for six weeks. This has just come up today, but I figure it allows a gradual slowing (and also some holiday money). I think it will be good for me - it takes the pressure off finding another income source and means that I can focus on creativity rather than trying to pitch for freelance work.
Your words resonate soooo much Monique 💚 I have been moving towards this "slowing down" phase for sometime, feeling like it was stuttering in fits and starts. The last 5 years have proven to be challenging, to say the least, so probably contributed in a myriad of ways. About 15 months ago my right knee became more of a problem, less of a niggle, and in February this year I had a total knee replacement. Now while this didn't suddenly wave a wand and make all those slowing down desires come true (and let's face it there was pain involved...and rehab...urgh 😂) it was this listening to my body, and physically stopping, that finally allowed me to let changes waft in. Now, the process is nowhere near complete, it may never be, but sitting in the discomfort of my rehab has also allowed me to sit in the discomfort of changes....I hope this makes sense. What took us all these years to build up and ascribe to in our lives will not change overnight. You are on the right path, a path you have chosen for yourself. Take time, be gentle and slip into YOUR new world order. Much love 💕
I am so glad this resonated, Lee. You have had a lot of challenges in your own slowing down journey - I can imagine the frustration that brings at times. It's hard to physically stop when you have so much you want to do, but as you say, change will waft in if you pause to allow it. Be gentle with yourself too, dear Lee.
This made me laugh! I took 6 months off work a year or so ago and had the same pattern! It took 3 months for me to feel like my nervous system had slowed at all. Trust your body she is very wise :)
I totally relate to how you feel and from my experience, it takes time (6 years and counting in my case) for your nervous system to recalibrate. I would say you can definitely rely on your body to tell you what to do...and not to do...so it's important to tune into your body and quieten your mind when you can. Everything will be good, trust yourself and enjoy this beautiful period in your life ✨️ Karen
Thank you so much for your wisdom, Karen. I really appreciate it. Six years though, wow! I know I'm not retired yet - and I'm actually taking on two days a week for six weeks in a different role - but there seems to be this mythical concept of what not working/retiring looks like. As if you just stop and happily fill your time with everything else. But your body and nervous system has a lot of catching up to do.
It's taking me a while as I totally burnt out and had to stop work because I kind of fell apart, then my Mum died, covid happened and we sold our house to have a narrow boat built to live on. My life has totally changed in the last 6 years, hence why it's taking a long time. No regrets though and I'm learning to listen to my body and live in the present ✨️
Our circumstances and reasons for leaving our jobs are different, of course. But it took me about a year to feel comfortable with the new situation, accept the new routine, and I guess most of all, realise that just because I didn't have a full-time paying job didn't mean I would be able to do everything I wanted to do in a day, every day ...
It takes time, you are doing the right thing listening to your body.
Thank you for your insight, Sara. I will let it take the time it takes. I'm still getting to know what this looks like - it's early days.
It took me several months to ease into not working. You will get there but it takes time to work out what “not working” looks like for you.
Thank you, Helen. I don't know why I thought it would be instant - logically I knew it wouldn't, but I think emotion overrides that at first. I'm going to do two days a week for six weeks (a new development) to ease me in a bit more gradually.
I also thought it’d be easier than it was. I felt quite untethered for several months and I’m still trying to negotiate the freedom to do things on the spur of the moment.
So interesting - it's like we have built up this myth of what retiring/time off looks like but the reality is so different.
Your writing is great...this..
we chase the fog to the river, where it swirls and steams and the fingers of God reach from the heavens.
Beautiful!
I hope you take the time you need and enjoy life more...A probably dosent care if the house isnt as clean as you want.
It's been almost a decade since I 'retired' from full time 'work'. In between babies, I've held part-time or casual jobs and had stretches of not working at all. I currently work approximately 12 hours a week in a job I really love, but still daydream almost daily about throwing it all in, simplifying ever more, living an even more frugal, home based life. My husband and I sit down and crunch the numbers, trying to make it possible. I read about your leap and I'm inspired even more.
In the home-ed world we have a term called deschooling, which in essence is a transition phase any child or adult goes through when removing themselves from traditional schooling. Generally speaking, for every year a child or adult has spent in formal education, a month of deschooling is required. During deschooling it is advised not to do anything but to process, heal and observe. Kids adapt much quicker than adults for this reason!
It's only natural to want to be productive, do all the things you've been dreaming to do, but in reality forgoing a work orientated mindset takes so much more
time than we would ideally like it to. It's uncomfortable. But necessary. You are shedding decades of ingrained messaging. This is only the beginning and you have so much to look forward to ahead. It's ok to sit with your emotions now, and rest.
Have you read Down To Earth by Rhonda Hetzel? Or her shorted read The Simple Life? I think you will enjoy it.
Love to you Monique. Always cheering you on x
It took me a few months to ease off the pace of not working and to understand what's next. I spent many days in the garden with my fingers deep in the earth learning that I needed to let go of the 'doing' and begin 'being'.
Beautiful, Monique.
Thoughts are just thoughts. Our mind is just our mind. None of it is real. I spend quite a bit of time navigating that — and it always takes the time it takes. Happy slowing. Happy noticing.
I'm really curious to know how you painted that gorgeous leaf 🍁
I used a wet on wet technique. It’s not finished technically - it should have all the veins and more layering - but I like it as it is …
Did you eyeball the shape or did you saturate the leaf with water before stamping it?
Even easier, I traced around it.
Oh you bright sunlit cupcake!! Genius
I so feel you! I stopped my 9-5 job two weeks ago and I want to tackle so many things now that I have time but my body seems to want to destress and detox first. So everything hurts and I walk like an old lady. Work is seeping out of me slowly and I need to wait until that process is done it seems. Slowly slowly.
Destress and detox, that's it! I love how you put it - work is seeping out of me slowly. That's what it feels like.
God, you sound a lot like me 😅 be gentle with yourself. Beautiful photography x
Thank you! Going gently is the way forward, for sure. It's hard when you have so many ideas or things you like to do!
I teared up reading this, Monique 🥲
Why is it that we carry so much guilt when we try to give ourselves the rest we deserve?
I’m exactly the same. At the moment I’m working six days a week (two markets each weekend and baking for businesses through the week) so Mondays are my day off.
But I’m also taking care of my elderly parents, so this Monday I drove 100km there & back to spend time with them. Next Monday I have appointments & places I need to get to so I can be ready for that week.
This is just a phase, I’m back to one market a weekend soon, and in June I even have a few weekends off (😱) But I already know that when those delicious weekends come around, I’m going to feel guilty about resting.
Why??
What’s inside us that drives us so hard? And why is it so difficult to not listen to that?
I applaud you, Monique 🥰 What you’re doing isn’t easy. It’s going to require a whole new mindset which I should imagine will take however long it takes to unfold in your life.
Be patient 🙏🏻
Be still 🌻
Let your body find new rhythms 💕
And don’t listen to that nagging voice telling you to do something.
You will.
In time.
And whatever you do it will be wonderful 🦋
Oh Maggie, you have so much on your plate right now. You're in a season of busy, and that takes its toll. Try to enjoy the delicious rest time that your body and soul needs.
Are we born driven? Or is it conditioned into us? I'm a firstborn so I definitely see that my path as being responsible and productive was set early.
I've taken a temporary sideways step - doing two days a week casual for six weeks. This has just come up today, but I figure it allows a gradual slowing (and also some holiday money). I think it will be good for me - it takes the pressure off finding another income source and means that I can focus on creativity rather than trying to pitch for freelance work.
Your words resonate soooo much Monique 💚 I have been moving towards this "slowing down" phase for sometime, feeling like it was stuttering in fits and starts. The last 5 years have proven to be challenging, to say the least, so probably contributed in a myriad of ways. About 15 months ago my right knee became more of a problem, less of a niggle, and in February this year I had a total knee replacement. Now while this didn't suddenly wave a wand and make all those slowing down desires come true (and let's face it there was pain involved...and rehab...urgh 😂) it was this listening to my body, and physically stopping, that finally allowed me to let changes waft in. Now, the process is nowhere near complete, it may never be, but sitting in the discomfort of my rehab has also allowed me to sit in the discomfort of changes....I hope this makes sense. What took us all these years to build up and ascribe to in our lives will not change overnight. You are on the right path, a path you have chosen for yourself. Take time, be gentle and slip into YOUR new world order. Much love 💕
I am so glad this resonated, Lee. You have had a lot of challenges in your own slowing down journey - I can imagine the frustration that brings at times. It's hard to physically stop when you have so much you want to do, but as you say, change will waft in if you pause to allow it. Be gentle with yourself too, dear Lee.
This made me laugh! I took 6 months off work a year or so ago and had the same pattern! It took 3 months for me to feel like my nervous system had slowed at all. Trust your body she is very wise :)
Yes, I didn't expect that my nervous system would need to recalibrate. I mean, I should have expected it, but I didn't. Thank you for sharing.
I totally relate to how you feel and from my experience, it takes time (6 years and counting in my case) for your nervous system to recalibrate. I would say you can definitely rely on your body to tell you what to do...and not to do...so it's important to tune into your body and quieten your mind when you can. Everything will be good, trust yourself and enjoy this beautiful period in your life ✨️ Karen
Thank you so much for your wisdom, Karen. I really appreciate it. Six years though, wow! I know I'm not retired yet - and I'm actually taking on two days a week for six weeks in a different role - but there seems to be this mythical concept of what not working/retiring looks like. As if you just stop and happily fill your time with everything else. But your body and nervous system has a lot of catching up to do.
It's taking me a while as I totally burnt out and had to stop work because I kind of fell apart, then my Mum died, covid happened and we sold our house to have a narrow boat built to live on. My life has totally changed in the last 6 years, hence why it's taking a long time. No regrets though and I'm learning to listen to my body and live in the present ✨️